12 step Program
For weirdos
I am all over the place; shifting from panic, despair to joy, contentment to conviction and resolution, in record time. I can find news sources I trust, who scare me, but no one can predict the future with the certainty that I seek. There are storms coming, both literal weather ones, economic ones and political ones. I wish I could protect everyone. I can’t. I can live in the complexity of my present moment and connect with others as fully as possible.
I decided that I am addicted to negative predictions. So I am creating a working model of a 12 step program for weirdos:
The 12-ish Steps for the Radical, Snarky, Meditative, Tree-Hugging, Community-Loving, Creativity-Obsessed Free Spirits
We admitted we were powerless over capitalism, late-stage government take over, and the state of the world—yet still refused to give up.
Came to believe that some kind of wild, benevolent, and possibly unhinged cosmic force—be it Gaia, the quantum field, or a sassy elder crow—is part of us to restore us to our most ridiculous and brilliant selves.
Made a decision to turn our will and our Amazon Prime membership over to the care of something bigger than Jeff Bezos. We are exploring surrender, abstinence and letting go, though everything I let go of has claw marks.
Made a searching and fearless inventory of our old journals, therapy notes, CPE reflection papers and that one conversation that always got way too real, where I shared TMI.
Admitted to ourselves, our community, and at least one non-judgmental houseplant the exact nature of our questionable decisions, then water everything that is thirsty.
Became entirely ready to let go of perfectionism, doomscrolling, and our deeply held belief that we can fix everything with the right theory or DuckDuck Go search.
Humbly asked whatever strange and wonderful power we believe in to help us stop self-sabotaging—while also accepting that shadow work is a lifelong group project. Kept a running list of limiting beliefs with antidotes in the margins. Celebrated a certain amount of suffering as what it is; inevitable and not predictive of future suffering or some punishment from the past. Leaned into doubt and uncertainty, reframing anxiety as anticipation at the edge of the unknown.
Made a list of all beings (human, animal, and celestial) we may have harmed, including that one colleague we snapped at before our morning tea and meditation.
Made amends, unless doing so would unleash more chaos than a feral drum circle of my brain at 3 AM. Did copious Loving Kindness Meditations. Indulged in some snarky contemptuous inner dialogue.
Lots of naps, and long walks, outside, even when cold or raining.
Continued to take inventory, reflect, and drag ourselves when necessary, but with love. Lots of love. Sought through meditation, movement, making weird art, and occasional yelling at the sky to improve our connection with the great swirling mystery of existence.
Having had a minor but significant existential breakthrough, we tried to carry this message to other snarky, creative, community-loving weirdos, and to practice these principles in all our affairs—except when we forget, in which case we take a nap, a walk, a snack and try again. Bonus Step: Gather with others, laugh. create, get outside… and keep showing up with an open heart and a bit of humor—because what else are we gonna do, become normal?